Okay, fair but it might as well be! I don't think Grimm fairy tales are going to give any advice as far as that goes, after all. Who was it? That might make a big difference.
You can always come snuggle with me, Darcy. Please keep on being not dead.
No, definitely not. Grimm fairy tales are so aptly named, it isn't even funny. Those brothers were sadists, I tell you.
Have you met Severus Snape? If it turns out he's totally taken or gay or something, I'm coming to knock on your door and holding you to that snuggling. I would kill for some Ben & Jerry's right about now.
I have to wonder if that was actually their name or if they chose it after writing a bunch of messed up stories.
You tried to kiss Severus? I'm not really surprised that was the reaction you got. You probably don't have to resort to Ben and Jerry's just yet. Though that does sound delicious.
I didn't really try. If I were trying, I'd have just grabbed him and DONE it. But I dropped literally every single hint that I could that I wanted him to kiss me. Every. single. one.
He's just Severus. I don't think he's very good at picking up those kinds of cues and even if he did, I don't think he would know what to do with it. I will say that he's not going to be the person to initiate that kind of thing.
I like him as in he's a decent dude, and not bad to look at. I nearly died or something! That is totally the kind of situation that calls for making out afterward! I'm just saying I would have liked to have achieved post-near-death make-outs. I don't want him to bring me flowers or take me to dinner or anything.
Okay, okay, I think I'm getting a better picture of things here. I see where you're coming from. But I think you're just going to have to keep on being disappoint. He would just never pick up on anything like that, and if he did he would never act on it in that situation.
Wait, Darcy, you almost died? What happened?
[ She realizes she should have asked what happened since the beginning EVERYTHING JUST HAPPENED SO FAST. ]
[ What? No it's not! Okay, maybe it is. Just a little. ]
So I know this guy and he changes into a werewolf and I thought I was fucking baller and could handle it, but it turns out I screamed and ran like a little girl. [ nbd ] I pre-recorded a message for Sev in case everything got out of hand. I sent it, he came and got me. I'm fine. I just was afraid I wouldn't be for a minute there.
I'm really glad you're alright. We're very early into our friendship. It would suck to cut it short because one of us got turned into dog food. Meanwhile, yes, guys are lame.
You probably still are. I wouldn't be surprised if somehow this advice turned out to be totally wrong, just as a disclaimer. My experience with relationships has basically just amounted to 'don't even try.'
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Wait. Maybe movies aren't really a thing for wizards. I'm going to have to adjust my approach.
How you doin'?
no subject
As far as I'm aware Disney movies aren't really part of mainstream, pop culture in wizard world, but I'd have to check my sources to be sure.
Doin' okay. Considerably less frustrated than you, I think. How's things?
no subject
Things are okay. I'm not dead yet, and that seems to be an accomplishment in this place. So who'm I to complain about sleeping alone?
no subject
You can always come snuggle with me, Darcy. Please keep on being not dead.
no subject
Have you met Severus Snape? If it turns out he's totally taken or gay or something, I'm coming to knock on your door and holding you to that snuggling. I would kill for some Ben & Jerry's right about now.
no subject
You tried to kiss Severus? I'm not really surprised that was the reaction you got. You probably don't have to resort to Ben and Jerry's just yet. Though that does sound delicious.
no subject
I didn't really try. If I were trying, I'd have just grabbed him and DONE it. But I dropped literally every single hint that I could that I wanted him to kiss me. Every. single. one.
So, not gay then?
no subject
[ How do you even begin to say this?]
He's just Severus. I don't think he's very good at picking up those kinds of cues and even if he did, I don't think he would know what to do with it. I will say that he's not going to be the person to initiate that kind of thing.
no subject
I am disappoint.
no subject
[ She has never felt more awkward in her life for SO MANY REASONS. ]
no subject
Whoa! Let's not get hasty here.
I like him as in he's a decent dude, and not bad to look at. I nearly died or something! That is totally the kind of situation that calls for making out afterward! I'm just saying I would have liked to have achieved post-near-death make-outs. I don't want him to bring me flowers or take me to dinner or anything.
[ Waaaaay too much commitment. ]
no subject
Wait, Darcy, you almost died? What happened?
[ She realizes she should have asked what happened since the beginning EVERYTHING JUST HAPPENED SO FAST. ]
no subject
I might be exaggerating. There was a thing with a werewolf and I got freaked out and Sev came to get me. No big deal.
[ Except for the part where it kind of is. ]
no subject
[ Everyone can thank Gretchen for that reaction because in another time and another place, she probably would have just taken Darcy's word for it. ]
Are you okay? What happened? We can get back to talking about how lame guys are in a minute, just... catch me up here.
no subject
So I know this guy and he changes into a werewolf and I thought I was fucking baller and could handle it, but it turns out I screamed and ran like a little girl. [ nbd ] I pre-recorded a message for Sev in case everything got out of hand. I sent it, he came and got me. I'm fine. I just was afraid I wouldn't be for a minute there.
no subject
I'm really glad you're alright. We're very early into our friendship. It would suck to cut it short because one of us got turned into dog food. Meanwhile, yes, guys are lame.
no subject
I know, right?
I don't know why I keep trying sometimes. Women are obviously way better.
[ That wasn't a subtle testing of the waters or anything. ]
no subject
I think people in general are just confusing in that situation. You never get what you expect or what you actually bargained for.
[ Welcome to non-answers with Claire Benet. ]
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
And that sounds like a text I would have sent to you after a sorority party. Somehow we've established normalcy.